I'm not sure whether "destitute decadence" or "decadent destitution" is the more appropriate phrase, but Monday night certainly fit the (relatively small) bill.
I started the evening at LuLu Massage Center, a blind massage institution where, for once in China, my time budget was more restricting than my financial one. After finally selecting the correct 597 Fuxing Zhong Lu (there were close to a dozen small establishments at the address, including another massage center), I stepped with trepidation into a dimly lit entryway, separated from the rest of the room by a thick curtain. The woman at the front began to ask me what I wanted when it became clear that my near-total lack of Mandarin and her near-total lack of English were headed for an interesting interaction.
The menu offered, among other experiences, a 60 minute foot treatment paired with a 45 minute body massage for 70rmb (US$10.34), or the same foot treatment with a 70 minute body massage for 88rmb. I would have taken the longer session in a heartbeat, but seeing as it was already 6:30 and I had plans to meet some Couchsurfing friends for drinks at 9, I had to settle for only 105 minutes of pampering. The lady kept jabbing her finger at my feet and then the clock and articulating in Mandarin, but I had no idea what she was saying, and so proceeded to pat the parts of my legs and back that were sore and point to the menu with the massage packages. Somewhat frustrated, she finally graciously led me through the curtain into a dimly lit, no-frills room where several people were being poked, prodded, and beaten on tables and in chairs.
Only once I was reclining on a dingy but not uncomfortable chair, soaking my feet in a warm tub, did I realize that all of the masseuses were busy, and she probably wanted me to make an appointment to come back later. My anxiety over missing my drinking date soon subsided, however, as the session across the room from me finished, and the hostess led a masseuse over to start working on my feet. Talking timers kept chirping out in robotic Mandarin to keep the process on track, and precisely 105 minutes later I emerged a new man. I thought communication would be difficult (I unable to communicate verbally, and the masseuse unable to see my wild gesticulations) but aside from the occasional "Too hard?" ("Yes," I thought, but gritted through and said "No, thank you"), no communication was necessary.
I ended up at the bar early, and made my way across the street to Culture Matters, which offered Feiyue sneakers for around 100rmb (US$14.77) well under the 50-100 Euros (US$66-132) the brand's website charges European customers. I made no purchases, but did enjoy browsing something that's actually in my price range for once.
Back at Azul, I quaffed the 10rmb (US$1.48!) mojitos (available in 9 flavors, including classic) that have become somewhat of a Monday night ritual. This time I was joined by several Couchsurfers, and wound up seeing a half-dozen more throughout the evening. Unlike my usual, ahem, moderate consumption, I slipped in my fifth order (lychee) just before the 11pm special cutoff. Five delicious mojitos and 3 hours of good company: 50rmb (US$7.38).
Eschewing the pricey Peruvian tapas on the menu, three of us (on two bicycles) made our way to the corner of Changle Lu and Fumin Lu, where we were rewarded with not one, but two street food vendors. 10rmb more than covered a large portion of "ji dan chow mien" (egg fried noodles) and some stick food, including mushrooms, that stalky green vegetable I still can't identify, and what I hope was actually lamb :-) We sat across the street where we watched monkeys for entertainment, careful not to appear to interested lest their handlers notice we are watching.
In sum: a variegated night of pure hedonism for under $20. Not. Too. Shabby.
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